seriosity

I am very anti serious conversations at the very beginning or the very end of something. Seriousness is best situated in the middle. I think this is my biggest parental beef, as mine are notorious for using seriousness as bookends. This either starts things off wrong, or leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

This is especially pertinent when you've just done something LOVELY, such as watching Bride and Prejudice, and then the parental unit switches immediatly to scheduling and to dos without a brief "basking in bollywood" intermission.

However, I suppose it could be argued that I am never in the mood for serious or to-do oriented conversation with my parents, regardless.

[disclaimer: despite serious beef, I love you both dearly and am having a wonderful visit!]

Retrospective on Exams

Last week, I was grumpy. I had exams that were consuming me, and no distractions of work to get me out of them. But...wait. What did I spend my exam week doing? I spent the majority of the time sitting in lovely coffee shops, sipping tasty warm beverages and reading interesting articles. And to top it all off, I'd "reward" myself for a hard day studying by going out for dinner with a good friend, or maybe to a movie. I realized that I have a wicked deal! My life is significantly worthy of envy.

The title, emphaisis on retrospective, indicates that I'm NOW ON VACATION! I'm going to stop blogging and write a list of all the things that I want to do with my free time, and start working my way through the list. I think I'll start with sangria for lunch with Ella before she takes off for Halifax.

Hurrah!

kate

Kate-living, Kate-doing, or just Kate

The getting through it time of year is upon me once again. I've been glowing and flying for the past couple of months, busy with school, the theatre, CPAR, work, crepes, thoughts of cajun food, a clean room and walks through the city. But, today I am full of responsibility and forgetfulness of the WHY. So, I am going to take a moment to remind myself why I do exams, placement applications, job interviews, meetings with professors, work. I am going to take a moment to realize that there's an end in sight. I once told someone that to get through school I always told myself "do well in school to justify adventure". Today I have to tell myself do well in life to justify LIVING.

I love new things. I try to do or see something new every day. More than that, I love introducing other people to new things, seeing their reaction, watching them adjust their world view. Apparently, "you see what you know" (Tony Price), so if I know a lot, I will see many things. I go to school to see new things, to learn how to see things in different ways, and in the long run try to help people to see things in new ways. I want to show people that living is not a zero sum game, though the dominant world system seems to think so. Sure, our resources are scarce, but if the rule says matter cannot be created nor destroyed, obviously a rearrangement of the status quo is possible.

I apply for placements and slightly scary responsibility-full jobs to expand this goal out of my comfort zone. I want to be part of the BIGGEST and the BEST things, but that requires me to start somewhere. I will not feel comfortable with something until after I feel a little uncomfortable, and comfort is mediocre at best. This is the hardest part. I've been told not to fear failure, and that I will miss 100 percent of the shots I don't take. So, I do scary things to face this fear of failure, and prove to myself that it is an illusion.

So often work seems like the odd thing out. Time spent with little relevance to my hopes, dreams and fears. It is comfortable, time consuming and irrelevant. But, it is also the easiest to understand. I work so that I can go to Cuba over christmas, so that I can drink second cup raspberry tea, so that I can buy Midnight's Children, so that I can take the bus to CPAR, so that I can chew gum and do yoga. I work so that one day 'work' won't seem like the odd thing out, but rather the vehicle to face fear and show others my world.

It takes me remembering these things to realize that this is not a getting-through-it phase, but part of life. I will always have times that aren't fun fun fun, but this doesn't mean that they are separate from real life. I used to classify life into kate-living and kate-doing, the former being the good parts of life and the latter the less interesting. But, in truth, the getting-through-it bits are fully integrated into the whole thing. I am not going to wake up one day and be grown up and settled and happy. And if I look at them this way, the getting-through-it bits aren't really just about getting-through-it after all.

And with that I can get back to work.

share-ation

When I hear, do or see something nice, or lovely, or beautiful, my immediate reaction is to want to share it. The difficulty is how exactly to get the person who I'm sharing my excitement with to acutally share the excitement. This problem is exacerbated by the fact that I often get very excited (to the point of chills) about things I can't quite put my finger on. Last night I got excited about an inpromptu private art show in my room when the combination of the tree outside my window and the fire truck with its lights flashing across the road projected a perfect, if decidedly abstract, video instilation on my wall. In my mind the "artist" was attempting to illustrate the seemingly seamless co-existance of man-made and natural objects that combine to make a city larger than the sum of its parts. Or today, when reading Focus in the Saturday Globe, I got all tingly about members of the Chinese diaspora in Canada returning to China to pursue a new/old life. How do I try to get you to feel those tingles if I have no idea what they were about? Yet, I desperatly want you to. I think that somewhere deep down, I want someone to be lucky enough to experience life as I do.

Development and the Media

I have just discovered podcasting. I listen to the BBC all the time at home, but now I can listen to their best of while in transit. None of this having to listen to music anymore! The podcasts that are currently eagerly awaiting transfer from iBook to iPod are the documentary "Return to Sarajevo" (looking back at the wartorn country years later, with a specific focus on a set of people that they interviewed soon after the conflict) and the personal journalistic reflection of the day.

Especially lately I've been taken by the development relevance of all current events. Even the newspaper articles or radio broadcasts that don't deal specifically with issues of basic needs, humanitarian disaster, poverty, or health and environmental crises. Even the articles that seem to have nothing to do with the third world. For some reason, everything that is going on in the world is all relevant to the distorted wealth and power gradient of the world which is the incentive for development. Is it just that the world is going through a development phase? In a positive light, one could think that the world has become so global that the issues of other countries and foreign individuals are finally becoming important to the average Canadian citizen in a way that they have not in the past. In a more pessamistic view, one could say that global issues, and more specifically Canada's involvement in engaging with and manipulating global issues, are currently trendy, and thus the media frames most stories in that light. Perhaps it is just my academically aquired development coloured glasses.

flesh and blood

I have the october blues. I am bored. I crave more adventure than continued placement seeking, waitressing and school have to offer. So, about a month ago I applied to release my adoption records from the BC government. It turns out that my name at birth was Alexandra Robertson. My mother was/is Kate Robertson. And now I'm Kate Alexandra. So, I know more about who I was for that 11 days before I belonged to my current family, the Jongbloed-Gait's. Moments before turning to my computer to post this blog, I was busy starting the next step: an active search for my birth mum. Hurrah! This is something I've waited for ever since I can remember. Perhaps I'll make posts as I go through the exciting and emotional ride of meeting, or not meeting, my own flesh and blood for the first, second, third...time. For now, I just wanted to address some FAQs:

When did you find out that you were adopted, what was that like?

My parents told me so early on that I can't remember not knowing that I was adopted. As such, it's always been part of my identity. However, at first I was a bit confused, thinking that we were all adopted. As I understood it, all babies were switched to different, more appropriate, parents at birth.

Do you like your adoptive parents?

Sometimes, upon finding out that I"m adopted, people's reaction is to say, "oh, I'm sorry". But, the truth is I've never felt a lack because of my adopted nature. I have lovely parents, that are completely and totally my parents. I don't feel like I was rejected by my birth parents, as my father didn't know of my existance, and my mother wrote me a letter at my birth to explain why she put me up for adoption. She felt that she couldn't offer me all that she wanted at such a young age, and felt there was another family who could better take care of me. A fairly legitimate reason, I think. So, I feel like I have two and a half sets of parents that love me!

How are you going to find your birth mom, and what about your dad?

The government of BC has an active registry program where I apply to find my birth mother. They contact her, and if she is interested in having contact with me, the intermediary puts us in touch. However, there is a chance that she will reject my application for contact, and I will not be allowed to contact her. As for my dad, I don't think he knows I exist. I've signed up for a passive registry of all the rest of my family: if they've applied to be put in contact with me, then they can further it themselves. Depending on the results with my birth mother, I may or may not decide to become more active in my pursuit of other family members.

How does it feel?

I am excited and nervous. I'm nervous that my mom, as noone knows about my birth (her parents, my father, potentially her new family), might deny me contact. This would be very difficult as I've intended to meet her my whole life. Also, in general I would, at least once in my life, like to know someone who shares the same genes as me (though I suppose that will happen if I ever have children on my own). I am excited about being face to face with her, about discovering the similarities between us. Essentially, studying what is nature about me and what is nurture.

Stay tuned.

wireless gratitude

OH! The thrill of choosing my physical computing space, unrestricted by wires or even doors, ceilings and walls. Thank you, University and other unsuspecting internet purchasers, for providing me with unlimited and magnificent access. Thank you mac for introducing me to the bright white iworld.

I'm lying in bed with i. He's up early for rowing, and I'm in bed late after a late shift. We're out of sync in a nice way. I'm just paying attention to breathing and rain and the day's events. I'm surprised at the smile that comes to my face and the satisfaction it indicates.

Lately, I've been encouraged by many to start to streamline, and to work with focus towards my passions and goals...my future. But this is more complicated than it seems, as I'm apassionate. Or perhaps multipassionate, which tends to dilute passion for any one thing. I'm into art. I'm into beautiful things. I like good food, and bad food A LOT. I like doing my own thing. I like doing things with other people. I think being a waitress is fun. The middle east is an interesting region, and so is south asia. Conservative fiscal budgets sometimes make sense, accompanied by a lot of overseas development assistance and good social welfare. I want to be wealthy, but not increase the gap between rich and poor. I think the economic aspects of development are important. So are the health ones. And the environmental ones. And I really like eating vegetables with a knife and fork.

This plethora of interests and beliefs makes streamlining complicated. My direction is foggy. I've been satiated for a while with staying in Toronto and taking a interdisciplinary degree, but now that it's coming to an end...my career is coming to a start and I must focus. I must make choices leading to a semi specific outcome.

The trouble is coming up with that semi specific outcome that I belive will satisfy in the long run. So, I am dissatisfied. But, in the meantime, satisfied.

the Night Commuters

Went for a long walk the other day. The ngo I volunteer with, Canadian Physicians for Aid and Relief are cosponsoring a Gulu Walk month, where two men walk from their homes to City Hall every night, sleep, and then walk back in the morning (about 10k each way) in order to publicize the cause of rurual Ugandan children who make a similar treck daily to the city. They do this in order to escape abduction by the rebel army who depend on child soldiers for their war, and spend the night in a camp called Gulu. This twice daily 10k often makes children miss school, leading to perpetuation of societal problems. The Toronto Gulu Walks taking place in July are building momentum, with more and more people joining the daily trek. So, I joined in last Thursday, and plan to do a couple more before the month is out. See www.cpar.ca or www.guluwalk.com for more details. If any of you are interested in going with me, let me know and we'll make a social advocacy date of it.

Kate

Desperatly Seeking Sublet

$415 - Cheap and Big Room for Rent (Woodbine and Danforth)
Reply to: katejongbloed@gmail.com

I have a room available in a four bedroom house at Woodbine and Danforth in Toronto for the months of July and August.

Rent is $415/month but negotiable and includes utilities.

The house features two bathrooms, a spacious porch, free inhouse laundry, commonspace and a full kitchen.

It is centrally located with quick access to subway, the beach, greek town, and downtown.

Possibility to extend lease in August. Also, there is another room in the house available if you are interested.

695 Milverton Blvd at Woodbine and Danforth

Preparing for the Third World

To quote Jen, this might just be "the greatest summer ever". I am so busy with work and play, I don't really have a free moment. But to look at it another way, they are all entirely free moments. Hurrah! With every day I feel like a more capable human being. While that might not sound like a terribly exciting evolution, it is in the face of a placement year, and imminent real life. Last night I was very sick- food poisioning or something- and there was noone there to hold my head, get me water and blankets. All I could think was "I'm glad this is happening, it's good practice for being in a developing country" because I had to get through it myself.

I don't have a computer at home, and while this is a definite plus for my social life and personal growth, it is less good for things such as emailing and blog posting. Thus, please stay tuned regardless of the sporadic nature of my blog status quo, as I'm sure that during placement I will make more use of Kidding Just.

Also, please note the recent additions to my right hand side: Marit, and the On Placements: Lauren, Laura and Jess. These three are other members of our IDS team heading away (you guessed it, on placement) next year, so perhaps it will be interesting to keep track of all of us?

Kate

Wherefore art thou Placement?

I have a bunch of really cool friends. For example, I just got an email from one who just climbed Mt Kilimanjaro, and in the email used this climb to describe his whole experience working in a refugee camp in Tanzania where he's been for the past 9 months. Another is set to leave for Mexico in August to document the Zapatista movement in Chiapas. Actually, I have two friends in Mexico right now: one is volunteering with Doctors without Training, and the other is doing a reciprocal language program where he learns spanish, and teaches english. Speaking of Latin America, one of my closest friends is leaving in September to spend a year volunteering and going to school in Ecuador, and another friend should be arriving back from El Salvador shortly. If you go a little more East, I have two friends in Brighton at the moment, busy discovering themselves. And then there's one who'll spend the rest of her summer treking around Turkey. But even close to home, they're doing interesting things: I have a couple friends from Victoria who will be showing up on my doorstep momentarily to spend a couple of days with me on their trip across Canada. And another who said to Jen last week "this is probably the best summer so far" because it has been filled with trips to big cities, episodes underwater, and as ever, Toronto urban adventure.

So, all this amazingness makes me sit and wonder, what does my next amazing year hold? Why don't I know what I'm doing yet? Is this a bad sign? Even with these questions, I feel confident that within the next three months I will be able to provide a post that paralells these friends of mine in their capacity to adventure. But for now, stop asking me about placement!

granted

My lovely world crashed a little the other day (however it seems to have righted itself now). In the blur of happiness and summer fun, combined with life-sucking jobs, I found myself in a brief crisis of lies, not getting things done, and more responsibility. The main problem in these situations is how hard I am on myself. The feelings of guilt and failure set in. I missed a deadline (I had send my application, but it wasn't up to par) for placement, because I don't have a computer and therefore neglect my inbox. My sublet decided to move out, and so I could perhaps find myself paying two rents in July. Worst of all I ditched Jen for a guy and lied about it (for about 5 minutes before I called her back in tears apologizing!). Today, however, is sunny, and I've got money in my pocket. I like the colour of my hair.

When things start to crumble, though, you realize how much good there is that you take for granted.

Kate

Home?

OH! So happy to be back in the city. It's so busy and there's a million things I could do. So far I've amused myself by riding my bike to the CPAR office to pick up some stuff for the interview on Friday, on bloor near dundas west. I'd never been in that neighbourhoodand it's so nice to ride to! On my way back i went through little italy, then china town (to look for work shoes and buy vegitables) and finally up to Robarts library where I am now. I'm getting all my admin stuff done before I go to swim practice at 6 and then to meet Jen andElla for beers because she's leaving tomorrow.

I've only been back a moment but already I'm in love with the city again and everything's in full swing. I mailed the letter and chequeto the government today to start to find my birth mother, which shouldbe another interesting part of the summer.

Hurrah for unlimited things to do (even if they aren't involving mountains or oceans), and what seems like unlimited time to do them in.

Victoria and area is full of lovely things to do that one doesn't do anywhere else in the same combination. I've been here for a little over a week, and I've been busy doing nice things, because that is what one does here. Today was no different, as my mum and I went up Island to some of the local wineries for a bit of a wine tour. We started at the one pictured above, where we had a delicious lunch of crab cakes and creme brulee, and a cheaky little Damascus wine. Our next stop advertised that "visitors are always welcome to ... share our salmon stream and sunlit vineyard views". Mum and I joked with the guy behind the tasting counter (who was actually their landscaper, but was for some reason leading tasting tours today) that we were actually there for the salmon stream and not the wine. He looked at us strangely, and eventually I convinced him to let us take a look at it. As it turns out, "sharing" the salmon stream involved a precarious hike down and extremely steep and slippery slope. And there were no salmon. By the end of it I was muddy and unfit for further wine touring. I should have taken the fact that the vineyard was far from sunlit as a sign. We made one more stop before we returned home via the scenic route, with no less than 12 bottles of wine. I think my current glow is less from the alcohol and more from an entirely well spent day and recent pleasant activity.

Cowichan Winery Tour

Kate and Salmon Stream

Dance or fade out 

Smells like BC

In Victoria once again. This happens more than I predicted when I left for Toronto two years ago. Every time I come back there's a different emotion. This time I feel more at peace with the whole deal- I'm not trying to viciously reject my roots as much as I once did. But everything is sort of hazily and eerily familiar: I keep thinking that I"m going to run into someone I know, and that I won't recognize them, yet everyone I come across looks sort of familiar. It smells and smiles like Victoria, and the flowers and wind and water are beautiful. It would be so easy to slump into HOME LIFE, but I'm determined to take advantage of all the good things that I use to brag about the West. So, tomorrow if it's nice I'm booting it down to the beach in my spanking new bikini after a coffee and some italian pastries with my father. I am happy to be back in a large part because I am so happy in Toronto- you'd think it'd be the other way round.

If you're from Victoria, you may as well give me a call.

Spah-dina

The summer has begun. It's been a crazy transition from school to no school...no school for 1.5 years! I finished my last exam on Friday, and then went straight into party mode. The whole evening was great, with dinner, drinks, good people, and then the bar. I went to bed late and woke early for work, and of course the day was complete crap, but for some reason I like a good hangover once in a while. It lets me know I'm alive! I got home after work and spent the evening PACKING everything I own (which, when organized, fits into a space of one meter by two meters) before the house invaders (new tenants) arrived the next morning. By 12am I was about to lose it- exam (no sleep), party (no sleep), work (no sleep), packing (no sleep)= anger and irrationality. In a serendipitous turn of events, I managed to use the house invaders van to get my stuff to my new place, and so quicker than I thought I have a new home. It's a great location (close to everything), and the interior is pretty good too. Since the move I've had a couple of two to four hour naps in between dropping friends off at the airport, goodbye breakfasts, lunches, dinners and drinks. It's finished today, and I started my "real" summer life about two hours ago. If start as you mean to go on applies, I'm excited and ready for this summer!

Welcome Andrew

A few weeks ago, a homeless Newfie stumbled upon our world with the help of Craigslist, and has since been occupying our couch and cleaning our kitchen. He is lovely and makes me laugh, and is incredibly useful in many ways. You can find him here: Dorkosis.

Method to Live

Blogs induce a certain degree of guilt, and I have decided that this guilt is completely not useful. Moreover, it implies a feeling of responsibility to one's readers, and since I have very few, it is still more irrational to feel guilty. As a result, this is my last apology for infrequent posting: I am sorry that I post infrequently. From now on, I am adopting the attitude that infrequent posting simply reflects my status quo, and is therefore a fundemental element of attempting to document my life online.

Today it is rainy, and I feel sort of like I am in a subtropical semi-arid montane forest because I have my windows open and a fern near my window...okay it's a long shot, but entirely satisfying no less. I am trying to study for my three upcoming exams- south asian politics, french, and conservation of tropical forests- but am consumed by thoughts of my future.

I was thinking about something Grant said on his blog about lifestyle careers, and have decided that I am either not trendy enough, or too trendy, and don't want that at all. I've decided that through my life I've succeeded entirely by chance. Basically, nice things just keep happening to me. So, flipant as this sounds, it is my aim to go on in this fashion. As long as I can keep running into new opportunities every time I feel the need for transition, I am happy to just go with what presents itself to me, as one thing always leads to another. Perhaps it's what is known as the "hands off" approach to life...or maybe the "I have no idea what I want, but just about anything sounds good" approach.

The fact that I've got about 5 years planned that completely complies with this notion of floating career bodes well for this experiment. Constant monitoring and evaluation to follow.

Loca

Disclaimer: we are all crazy.

Post body:

Living in a house of crazy people has helped me to relax. Illogical you say? No. Crazy people make me want to be less crazy, more accepting of the status quo, and appreciative of the things I do have in life that are wonderful. So, when people stress disproportionatly about school, or put too much emphasis on comparative marks, or cry because the vibe in the house is overwhelming, I feel able for the first time in my life to step back and not be influenced by people around me as much as I have been in the past. I have finally figured out how to live beside people, and not become them. So, with this very zen attitude, I have found peace and love in my house. Of course, I have long loved the individuals in my house, but the entire makeup- building, inhabitants, auras and all- has emerged in my mind as this entirely entertaining and entirely wonderful component of my current happy life. No doubt this has something to do with the fact that our time together is coming to an end and things are always better when you know you're leaving, but still I'd like to think that I've grown this year: grown in happiness, grown in tolerance, and also grown in less streamlined ways.

Uncertainty is not a pathology.

Mini Break

It had been so long since I'd hung out with parents...not only mine but anyone's in general. Also, I felt ridiculous when I tallied the sheer number of nights spent in my own bed since moving into this house. So I went home with Jen this weekend for a Cambridge Minibreak. My easter weekend had been diverse already, with a gallery opening, a punk show, breakie with the girls, a long downtown walk, a night at the races, and work, and the theme of diverse fun continued in the small Ontario town. I felt a little like I was in Victoria again. We parked about a block from the club, there was no line up, we could arrive in our tshirts, there were no girls in miniskirts and stillettos...none of the Toronto clubbing difficulties, like hikes to and from the club, fashion obsession (to the point of ignoring the FUN of going out). Anyway. Night one was great. The next day was even more like good old Vic because there was little to do, and so we ended up at a coffee shop, going for a run, playing some frisbee, taking pics, and dropping in on friends around the town. Very different from my life in Toronto where I can usually always think of something to do, to the detriment of my random visits to friends and physical play time. But that love has been rekindled. The highlights, of course, included portuguese shrimp, kissed lips, Jen 24/7, tequilla, B-52s, turkey dinner, fish cakes, the Newfies and seeing what Jen's life was before me...

It seems very appropriate that this quasi-spastic blog just sort of trickles out. Perhaps I will work more on content next time???

Kate

Mini Break

It had been so long since I'd hung out with parents...not only mine but anyone's in general. Also, I felt ridiculous when I tallied the sheer number of nights spent in my own bed since moving into this house. So I went home with Jen this weekend for a Cambridge Minibreak. My easter weekend had been diverse already, with a gallery opening, a punk show, breakie with the girls, a long downtown walk, a night at the races, and work, and the theme of diverse fun continued in the small Ontario town. I felt a little like I was in Victoria again. We parked about a block from the club, there was no line up, we could arrive in our tshirts, there were no girls in miniskirts and stillettos...none of the Toronto clubbing difficulties, like hikes to and from the club, fashion obsession (to the point of ignoring the FUN of going out). Anyway. Night one was great. The next day was even more like good old Vic because there was little to do, and so we ended up at a coffee shop, going for a run, playing some frisbee, taking pics, and dropping in on friends around the town. Very different from my life in Toronto where I can usually always think of something to do, to the detriment of my random visits to friends and physical play time. But that love has been rekindled. The highlights, of course, included portuguese shrimp, kissed lips, Jen 24/7, tequilla, B-52s, turkey dinner, fish cakes, the Newfies and seeing what Jen's life was before me...

It seems very appropriate that this quasi-spastic blog just sort of trickles out. Perhaps I will work more on content next time???

Kate

Wereld Stad

A novelty: a day completely free of responsibility. As a student, this rarely happens as in the subconscious there's always this sense of the next paper, the upcoming exam. But, today I've shed these preoccupations for the sake of our saviour. Nix that. For the sake of myself. Really, it started last night with a gallery opening followed by a punk show (choosing an outfit to match both: trying), and a greasy breakfast this morning featuring past and future travel stories with four girlfriends. Up next is a walk through China Town, Queen St (Fashion District), Downtown, to my current favourite neighbourhood around the St. Lawrence Market for Starbucks and Gabriel Garcia Marquez. And what's really nice is that what comes after that is open to discussion!

Happy Easter.

Multiple choice

I told a friend of mine last year that it wasn't often that I felt I had to make big decisions, or rather that my decision is usually 'both'. Yet, every once in a while the need for a decision comes by and virtually debhilitates me. I think this comes from the same place that my desire to be a secretary plus comes from. I want to work for a genius, enabling his/her decisions, but not making my own.

The case is similar now. I have two almost placement offers...two maybes. Both provide me with completely different information, making comparison very difficult, and for both the information is only half there. Yet, both want to know where I stand in the placement process (ie: if I'm working for a different placement, they want to drop me out of the selection). Okay, so I tell both that I'm interested and prolong the decision for one more step. But what then?

The first, I talked about earlier. It would be with WUSC and a small local NGO on the south east coast of Sri Lanka, working with Tsunami victims. So current! So exciting! Buddhists, civil conflict and rainforests oh my!

The second is with PWS&D and the Institute for Development Education in Chennai, India. I would work in the villages outside of the city for 6 months, and then in the city slums for 3 months. The final three months would be research based. The work would be based around women's empowerment, literacy, economics, and child labour issues. Wow! So intense! So self directed! So throwing me in the deep end!

In multiple choice, when you don't know how to decide, they say to pick the longest answer. I don't think the decision will be so easy!

Kate

Bailarphobia

There is something that terrifies me about salsa dancing. My friend is a fan, and people back from placement in South America do it at any chance they get. But it scares me shitless. Is this a legacy of dancing lessons with my father taught by Bernard? Or what? Really, this phobia is ridiculous and obscure. Simply for that reason I must overcome. I almost made it out to learn tonight, but not quite. Manyana.

Ceylon

This is the closest I've been yet to placement: I had an interview today with WUSC who proposes to send me to Sri Lanka (in the south-eastern part) to work with a small local NGO there and help tsunami affected people re-establish livelihoods. The interview went well. I think it was more of a formality with WUSC as it's the local NGO who decides if they want me in the end. So, if any of you are interested in visiting Sri Lanka in the next year, you might have a place to stay!

Welcome

I have recruited new blog participants. Welcome to a round the world discourse of IDSers and wannabe management students.

Matthieu
Jess

FOTO

So, I have finally figured out how to post pictures on my blog once again. These are courtesy of my dad and his fabulous camera from our trip to the Netherlands this winter vacation. Enjoy!

I really hope that I'll be able to keep this blog going when I'm on my placement...surely the posts will be more interesting! But, depending on my internet connection and the level of censorship in the country where I'm working, it may or not be possible. Stay tuned!

kate

Belated Euro-Pics from Christmas 2004

B*ke

A*dam 

A*dam 

A*dam 

IDS musings: a positive week

International Health Week and Canadian Landmine Awareness Week all in one shot! I am so happy to be volunteering again- the year off last year felt right, but I'd forgotten how much voom it gave me. Of course it's self serving, as I get praised, and get to exhibit my creativity, but at the same time I hope that I'm helping just a little. In IDS I get bogged down with hopelessness for the world so often. I am greatful to people around me who keep reminding me that little things make a difference, and that I don't need a revolution to affect change.

Where I've been is certainly not where I'm going

create your own visited country map
or check our Costa Rica travel guide

So. According to me this is completely inadequate. I've only visited 5percent of our great Earth...only 5percent of the landmass at that! 12 countries. My goal is to see red.

Pour Devrai: Toronto

Oh! What a wonderful city! Since Matthieu and I seemed to be the only ones not getting out of Toronto for reading week, we decided to do everything we hadn't in Toronto to date (and some of our favourite things that we've done a million times). We had indian buffet in Little India, went to the children's theatre, checked out St Lawrence Market (if you love a deli...), window shopping on Queen Street, baking muffins, coffee on King Street, triple feature movies until early morning, Gerstien study sessions, Roxy Blu, breakfast, and planning our futures. It doesn't look like much on virtual paper, but it filled our week and was wonderful! WONDERFUL. I can't even describe it...perhaps I should just get to the moral of the story: if you build it, life will come. And friends will make it glow.

PENNIES

Hello!

And welcome to my blog about pennies. I am having another penny party where you save your pennies for a month or so (and all other pocket change), and then sometime in March bring it over to my house where we'll be partying and rolling it. The proceeds go to Candadian Physicians for Aid and Relief, for their work with landmine survivors and other international health issues.

So, I urge you, even if you're in a different country or different city, save your pennies, etc, change them at the bank, and send even just 5 dollars for this worthy cause. Last time I had one at my house we raised over $500 for the Salvation Army.

I will let you know later on when the party will be, so please rsvp to my comments or email to let me know if you want to participate.

Kate

Goodlums

It is a beautiful day. The sun is out, the snow is fresh and the sky is blue. But also along the lines of beauty is my mood in general, the world through my eyes. I have just finished Cool To Be Kind by the boys of the Extreme Kindness Crew, and my faith in goodness is restored. Lost in a jumble of cyclical development discourses, I have been using my intention to "develop" as a source of arrogance, and inaction. I am stuck in this notion of development being impossible without a radical overhaul of the world system, and I don't like radical activism, but at the same time feel like I'm doing something better than other people who aren't in development. The boys have put goodness in my hands again, and made me a more humane than I've been in a long time. And while I'm still not ready to give up my hope of saving the world, for day to day life, goodness is pretty good.

three months

C'est toujour comme ca!

Picking Favourites

Terribly social all of a sudden. Who knew it was so easy? There's always something to do. Could it be that I've finally found my place in Toronto, only to be leaving it in the next month or four? Alas, the problem with moving about is that you have too many terrific friends in so many places, and lack the ability to maintain daily interaction with them. Sarah said to me the other day that it was amazing because most of her favourite people were in the same city all at once and that had never happened before. I can't imagine that ever happening! It would have to be a mixture of Holland, BC, Toronto, and France. And perhaps a little London and Tanzinia thrown in. But, instead of analysis and planning, I should be content with the status quo, and the fact that so far this semester, every day has been filled with something wonderful.

Gezellig

I love this country. This trip has been a study on how to force the cohesion of things I like about Holland and Canada and myself in both of these places. I like the intensity of friendships in Canada, but I like the informality and frequent going out in Holland, and the "live in the present" attitude. Perhaps it is just the friends that I have here?

I just spent a week away from my family here, first going to Doetinchem where lived three summers ago. I had new years with Joliet and Erik and the rest of the crew, and apart from the double takes, it was as though I'd never left. Then on to Groningen for a few days with Frank; it was fantastic as usual. We've all planned to meet up in Madrid in three years time. I'll keep you posted on that.

Tomorrow I'm back on the plane, ready to enable fusion of two worlds.