AIDS 2006

It's AIDS 2006, the International Aids Conference, in Toronto at the moment. Go! Go now! Imagine all of a sudden being surrounded by tens of thousands of people working for the same positive change you are!

I have been working at the CPAR exhibit in the Global Village section (booths, etc, lots of NGOS) and have had the chance to check out some of the sessions as well. I know that it's 'just a conference' but there's something about the fact that there are 24000 people (and that's only official delegates) together concentrating on two simple issues: LIFE and DIGNITY. I'm ashamed to admit it, but the intensity of the entire convention has made me cry on several occasions. To me, it feels like there are representatives from every inch of the AIDS landscape, from all points of the compass and all generations. The thing that is the most exciting is that there are also representatives from each APPROACH to alleviate the crisis- the grandmothers selling their crafts to afford to send their charges to school, the NGOs promoting treatment, counselling, and education, and those targeting the underlying POVERTY of AIDS, the Government and Corporate delegates working on policy and research...

This higgledy piggledy blog indicates just what an overwhelming experience this conference is for me- it leaves me utterly unable to convey the enthusiasm, hope and learning that the conference is providing me. All I can say is Hurrah!

Old Man Dance Party

A great Thursday night just past. My fabulous friends Aaron and Dev had their launch party for their socially active clothing line, aujCollections. The clothing line is based around the notion of perpetuating the "old boys club" for young men, and the theme of the party was aptly named the Old Man Dance Party. Located at Social on Queen West, the party consisted of many beautiful people, plenty of free alcohol, and oodles of press types and cameras. Auj had created a scene at the front of the bar to look like a club, complete with persian carpets, brandy, overstuffed leather chairs, a gunrack, etc etc. They'd hired some old men and some models who inhabited the space, smoking pipes, playing golf into a rocks glass, and using the old typewriter. It was all very civilized.

The goal of the event was to welcome the collection to Toronto, and to create the final scene in the reality show featuring Aaron and Dev that will air on Star TV in who knows how many months. For me, it's all very exciting because I get to watch these two very young guys (20 and 22) get increasingly successful, and occasionally drag me along with them! As well, the fact that each item of clothing that they sell comes with a code, which can be used to get mentorship for becoming active in the community, makes me interested in these guys even more! I urge you to check out their site.

Bike to CAPAIDS

Speaking of CAPAIDS, they're having a Bike-A-Thon fundraiser on June 10.

Sign up for BIKE TO CAPAIDS

See you there!

Cucurrucucu Paloma

Have been spending some time today listening to music from the films of Almodovar (I stumbled upon Habla Con Ella four years ago and have been crazy about them ever since). There's something very intense about the music that I don't find in my Whitney and Assorted Trance Singles. And so I got to thinking, using my general music choice as indicative of the whole Kate psyche, and realize that I actively pursue the avoidance of responsibility. I like thinking about real things, but fear experiencing them. What is it that holds me back? The ever pressing fear of failure. Perhaps I feel it more than others, but likely I am in precisely the same human boat as the rest of us. And so, I grab hold of things that give me confidence when I can. So today, as I listened to AT Ariyaratne, who started the Sarvodaya movement in Sri Lanka (development according to Ghandian and Buddhist principles), I grabbed hold of these sentiments:

Be Constructive, Not Destructive. Don't waste time defending yourself and what you're doing- just go and do it.

Those of us who want to change the world don't get much rest, while others spend quite a bit of time sleeping.

[If you see something bad in the world] don't worry about it, just work harder.

This is action without fear- I've got the thinking about it down pat, I've just got to have confidence to take action. And if you're in the mood, download some songs from Almodovar.

Kate

oh, Chinatown!

My spacial proximity to Chinatown has many benefits and delights, including readily available cheap produce, an abundace of milk crates for creating fashionable furniture, and the presence of co-passengers on the streetcar, laden down with plastic bags with exotic scripts and strange smells. But today, the concept of a "city within a city" has been taken to a new level. All day there has been a tremendous comotion outside our house. While the comotion is usually due to either drunken students, or recently released patients from the Centre for Addiction and Mental Health across the street, today it centres around a huge pile of dirt. Presumably, this dirt was placed there by municipal workers in preparation for the spring gardening they'll be doing at the park across the way starting Monday morning. I'm affraid, however, that they will have to start a new pile afresh, come Monday, as there has been a steady stream of Chinese ladies from the neighbourhood poaching the goods! They come with carts, waggons, buckets, spades, garbage bags, and (occasionally) husbands to supervise, and in little more than three hours, the pile is down to half what it was. Every once in a while I'll hear the screech of car tires and a house-wife type will be out there, in her kakhis and sweater-around-the-neck, filling the back of the SUV with precious, precious sod.

In a more serious note, I like how this event fits in to my post-colonial studies mind frame. WHat? It's just dirt. No, wait. In my political science course last semester, we talked about various ways in which citizens revolt against authoritarian post colonial states, from revolution to what is known as "quiet encroachment of the ordinary". In this form of revolt, individuals undermine the state through a variety of (primarily urban) actions, such as tapping the power grid. While it's simplist to understand today's dirt theft through a purely pragmatic lense- why buy dirt when you can get it from the sidewalk for free?- I like to think of it in more political terms. Despite our government's highly "developed" nature, we, as Canadian Citizens, still reject the notion of complete complicity to the State, and choose instead to express our non-compliance through simple acts of soil appropriation.

IDSers are crazy. I'm at Scarborough, and I just spotted one, dressed in a padded suit and helmet with "poverty" written all over it. He had a really big stick and was offering people the chance to fight him...to fight poverty. Is this what it's come to? I generally applaud clever publicity gimicks, but in this case I worry. Is our political and societal dialogue so beyond caring about the world's rampant poverty that we have to resort to non-mainstream protests to get poverty issues included in the global agenda? It seems like such a no-brainer, as poverty is the root cause of so many problems we are currently fighting against (terrorism, drugs, for a couple of examples).

Speaking of poverty, this is an interesting take on Make Poverty History, conceptualized by my neighbour:
Make Affluence History

shades of grey

Development, academically speaking, contains grey areas for me. But each semester I’ve taken here at U of T has sought to increase the vibrancy of my development understanding. It seems that each semester, by accident, tends to answer an overarching question of mine. I’ve had the overview semester, the health and development semester, and the development economics semester. The most recent theme took place outside of school: understanding the Canadian development community and my place within it. And just when I felt my understanding of macropolicy, in Canada and Internationally, was so grey as to hamper moving forward, I happened upon this semester. I am taking International Political Economy of Trade, the New International Agenda, and International Studies and Communications, which all fall into this theme. The actions, principles and policies that have undermined the development of the third world are now being presented to me. And in the end I hope that they will help me to understand these aspects of the international order enough to enable me to see how these tools of power used by the West can be used to improve the climate for Development. Greyness be gone.

Development and the Media

I have just discovered podcasting. I listen to the BBC all the time at home, but now I can listen to their best of while in transit. None of this having to listen to music anymore! The podcasts that are currently eagerly awaiting transfer from iBook to iPod are the documentary "Return to Sarajevo" (looking back at the wartorn country years later, with a specific focus on a set of people that they interviewed soon after the conflict) and the personal journalistic reflection of the day.

Especially lately I've been taken by the development relevance of all current events. Even the newspaper articles or radio broadcasts that don't deal specifically with issues of basic needs, humanitarian disaster, poverty, or health and environmental crises. Even the articles that seem to have nothing to do with the third world. For some reason, everything that is going on in the world is all relevant to the distorted wealth and power gradient of the world which is the incentive for development. Is it just that the world is going through a development phase? In a positive light, one could think that the world has become so global that the issues of other countries and foreign individuals are finally becoming important to the average Canadian citizen in a way that they have not in the past. In a more pessamistic view, one could say that global issues, and more specifically Canada's involvement in engaging with and manipulating global issues, are currently trendy, and thus the media frames most stories in that light. Perhaps it is just my academically aquired development coloured glasses.

I'm lying in bed with i. He's up early for rowing, and I'm in bed late after a late shift. We're out of sync in a nice way. I'm just paying attention to breathing and rain and the day's events. I'm surprised at the smile that comes to my face and the satisfaction it indicates.

Lately, I've been encouraged by many to start to streamline, and to work with focus towards my passions and goals...my future. But this is more complicated than it seems, as I'm apassionate. Or perhaps multipassionate, which tends to dilute passion for any one thing. I'm into art. I'm into beautiful things. I like good food, and bad food A LOT. I like doing my own thing. I like doing things with other people. I think being a waitress is fun. The middle east is an interesting region, and so is south asia. Conservative fiscal budgets sometimes make sense, accompanied by a lot of overseas development assistance and good social welfare. I want to be wealthy, but not increase the gap between rich and poor. I think the economic aspects of development are important. So are the health ones. And the environmental ones. And I really like eating vegetables with a knife and fork.

This plethora of interests and beliefs makes streamlining complicated. My direction is foggy. I've been satiated for a while with staying in Toronto and taking a interdisciplinary degree, but now that it's coming to an end...my career is coming to a start and I must focus. I must make choices leading to a semi specific outcome.

The trouble is coming up with that semi specific outcome that I belive will satisfy in the long run. So, I am dissatisfied. But, in the meantime, satisfied.

the Night Commuters

Went for a long walk the other day. The ngo I volunteer with, Canadian Physicians for Aid and Relief are cosponsoring a Gulu Walk month, where two men walk from their homes to City Hall every night, sleep, and then walk back in the morning (about 10k each way) in order to publicize the cause of rurual Ugandan children who make a similar treck daily to the city. They do this in order to escape abduction by the rebel army who depend on child soldiers for their war, and spend the night in a camp called Gulu. This twice daily 10k often makes children miss school, leading to perpetuation of societal problems. The Toronto Gulu Walks taking place in July are building momentum, with more and more people joining the daily trek. So, I joined in last Thursday, and plan to do a couple more before the month is out. See www.cpar.ca or www.guluwalk.com for more details. If any of you are interested in going with me, let me know and we'll make a social advocacy date of it.

Kate

IDS musings: a positive week

International Health Week and Canadian Landmine Awareness Week all in one shot! I am so happy to be volunteering again- the year off last year felt right, but I'd forgotten how much voom it gave me. Of course it's self serving, as I get praised, and get to exhibit my creativity, but at the same time I hope that I'm helping just a little. In IDS I get bogged down with hopelessness for the world so often. I am greatful to people around me who keep reminding me that little things make a difference, and that I don't need a revolution to affect change.

PENNIES

Hello!

And welcome to my blog about pennies. I am having another penny party where you save your pennies for a month or so (and all other pocket change), and then sometime in March bring it over to my house where we'll be partying and rolling it. The proceeds go to Candadian Physicians for Aid and Relief, for their work with landmine survivors and other international health issues.

So, I urge you, even if you're in a different country or different city, save your pennies, etc, change them at the bank, and send even just 5 dollars for this worthy cause. Last time I had one at my house we raised over $500 for the Salvation Army.

I will let you know later on when the party will be, so please rsvp to my comments or email to let me know if you want to participate.

Kate

Goodlums

It is a beautiful day. The sun is out, the snow is fresh and the sky is blue. But also along the lines of beauty is my mood in general, the world through my eyes. I have just finished Cool To Be Kind by the boys of the Extreme Kindness Crew, and my faith in goodness is restored. Lost in a jumble of cyclical development discourses, I have been using my intention to "develop" as a source of arrogance, and inaction. I am stuck in this notion of development being impossible without a radical overhaul of the world system, and I don't like radical activism, but at the same time feel like I'm doing something better than other people who aren't in development. The boys have put goodness in my hands again, and made me a more humane than I've been in a long time. And while I'm still not ready to give up my hope of saving the world, for day to day life, goodness is pretty good.

Fantasia for Four Hands

A lovely Toronto day. Woke up, brunch at the Red Room (avocado and brie sandwich of course), and then a wander down Spadina and then onto Dundas (going east) as I'd never walked that way before. While chatting to a lovely but absent roommate of mine, I found myself infront of the AGO and on a whim decided to go inside. I'm extra glad I did as it was the last day of a vivid exhibit by Edward Burtynsky that made me smile out loud. I love noticing the themes that run through my life, like Jesus and Development, and this exhibition was no different- it reeked development like a mutha.

It brings to mind my concerns about finding beauty in Poverty, like in Jamaica, and a friend in Victoria's photos of dilapidated dwellings in Laos. Here, though, Ed legitimated beauty in things that are actually destructive. Perhaps it is just a little more difficult to justify see beauty in impoverished people.

I find myself having to convince myself just to breathe in galleries. Stop looking at the people around me, stop hearing what they're saying and just let my eyes glide over the art works, let myself just enjoy it rather than analyzing others analysis of me. Rodney Graham's video installations succeeded in calming me down, I stopped thinking about whether or not I was getting it, and just didn't pay attention to anything. Lovely.

I took the subway home- St. Patrick's station with it's green hue was nearly as soothing as the gallery itself. Looking out the window on the RT was as vibrant as the paintings and photos in the gallery, and I was happy for that outlook.

Now I'll sit down and watch some slightly more mainstream video- My Best Friend's Wedding- and find myself something to eat. It's too bad this blog isn't circular, as that was one of the best things about Graham's work. Perpetuation.

Notes from a Small Island

Oh! The contradiction of life and unlife that is Jamaica. I've said it before and I'll say it again (with slight variation), that I find it very strange to be in a place where two worlds collide like they do here. We learn about inequality, but in rarely Canada do you see it through such stark contrast. KFC, McDonalds one block, corrugated iron towns the next. It is strange that the best maintained infrastructure here are the advertising billboards. Driving over a potholey road, inundated by donunt and mango sales people at every intersection, you don't expect to look up and see something shiny and toothy.

After learning a bit about Jamaica before I left Toronto, it is interesting to arrive here and talk to the locals about it- what the problems are, where they stem from and what the answer is. The answer to the first two questions is a long enough story, that the third is difficult to get to. All it prompts is further discussion of the first two questions. In addition, the issues brought up in these discussions differ greatly from those in the books and movies I've taken in

The sense of ickyness is almost paralyzing, not that I would be able to do anything anyway in my week here. Will I even have a nice conclusive statement at the end of it? At the same time, I'm more relaxed than I have been since leaving BC, adventure of any kind nearly guarantees it.

Thanks to the Hilton boys (perhaps not as sexy as Paris...) and the rest currently contributing to my positive Pina Colada Karma.

Nearly A Rasta

Oh! The Juxtaposition of life and unlife that is Kingston. I'm sitting here full of all you can eat Lobster from the Kingston Hilton's kitchens (the hook up is fabulous fabulous), and I have a free bed here tonight, with someone to pick up my barely used towels in the morning. All this after spending the day in downtown Kingston, and Trench Town where Bob Marley got his start. Again it brings me to this question, what is more important, achievement of happiness or escape from poverty? And how does Kingston fall into all of this? Tomorrow I am going to see how the rich Jamaicans live, looking down on the rest of Kingston from their million dollar homes.

Thanks to my dad, who always makes me ask questions.

Do not disturb.