Scarborough Sea(n)

I went a bit squirly yesterday from reading too much, and feeling trapped in Scarborough, in F6. The world has been so bleek for the past few days, not in relation to me, but in general. I am extremely happy, but worry for the future of humanity. I felt that I needed an adventure to break the negative intertia, but couldn't come up with anything to do besides read Tom Robbins (but I was too squirly from reading already) or watch tv (which makes me more squirly if I'm feeling squirly already). My inability to come up with an appropriate adventure made me feel even more claustrophobic.

In polar opposition, however, today brought the perfect adventure. Sean dropped by, on bike. (***side note: I love things that weren't novel in Victoria, but here are decidedly novel. Bikes for example). I rode once around a campus block, and loved it. We found another bike, and set off with picnic through the valley to the lake. I'd never been before, and I don't quite know why not. Being from Halifax and Victoria, Sean and I did our best to pretend that the lake was an ocean and the breeze was salty. The sea gulls helped the illusion. We picnic'd beside a bronco on the beach and went home via the Quick Stop mart searching for Cyclones.

I don't know what the best part was, being near water, biking, the search for cyclones, simply the idea of adventure, or Sean's company. Perhaps, in true University student post-modernist logic, it was a combination of all five factors. Thanks Sean for encouraging adventure.

La Vie

I've been living real life lately. School often feels like a hiatus. Time has stopped for a moment, and you have to get through this stage before times begins again. Even high school felt more like real life. But, since I've only got one assignment to do before finals, and everyone else is overwhelmed, I am just living. My real life activities include coffee breaks, knitting, dishes, vaccuming, novel reading, painting and corresponding with people left uncorresponded.

Every once in a while I get a whelm (as opposed to an overwhelm) of remembering Victoria. The most common type is thinking about the restaurants and cafes. I miss Eugenes, Pagliacci's, Paradiso, The Wooden Shoe, and Caffe Fantastico- I know I could find similar places here, but I haven't and it's frustrating. Lately, though, I've started missing people. I miss the connections I had with people that I haven't found here. People that I can talk to about anything, and nothing feels conditional. Here, there is a strange dynamic. None of us feel totally comfortable with our situtations, and therefore everything feels a little unstable, including friendships. I think that's why they say that the friends you make at university are the friends that you'll have forever: if you can get through this time of tumult and insecurity together, you can get through anything.

Joie

I am so happy. No reason, just am. Things make me smile and smile and smile. I like ladies that take a long time to count out exact change, I like forcing people to try new things, I like people who write in pedantic prose, and I like feeling that I have free time. I love the city I live in, and I look forward to showing you around it. Yea you.

Something I've been thinking about lately is things I've got in common with people. My friend Jen here in TDot- we're the same person. We're intense, enthusiastic, drama and dance-yo'-pants off. Then there's Mel, my roommate- and we're the same person. We have the same insecurites, the same passion for passion, the same penchant for the attention of the opposite sex...But then when I think about the number of people I see such intense similarietes with I realize how different they all are. Case in point: comparing Mel and Jen. So different.

Love.

Ma Tante

Just back from a fabulous fabulous weekend away. I met Paulette, Philippe and Christian in Ottawa and we went from there to Mt Tremblant in Quebec for a couple of days of skiing. The chalet was full to the brim with fun frenchies, and now I feel like I've got some family out here! The mountain itself was great (very similar to Mt Washington) and the village was chic beyond belief. We went to Le Shack for an apres ski pitcher, but could have painted the town red if we'd wanted to. Spent the second day with Helene and Bill, and ran into some Torontonians as well (my hookup for future ski trips???). Back in Ottawa on Monday, we spent a pleasant day poking around the Byward Market where I visited my favourite hot sauce store and nearly bought a Persian Carpet!!! Now I'm back safe and sound, infront of my computer once again. Many thanks to those who made it possible- I'll see you at the cottage in the summer!

In other news, I went to Italian Night at the Distrikt the other day, to see Mauro Picotto. With Mel as company, we managed to avoid all the Ginos and have a mostly wicked time. Italian flags for souvenirs, and the memory of some really good music.

[Have a feeling I used a few too many cliches in that one.]

A Short List of Favourites

I am going through a phase of overwhelming joy for certain smallish things. My list keeps getting longer, which is fantastic. Three cheers for perpetual adventure.

1) Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'Conner
2) Yellow Tail Chardonnay
3) Pointy boots with raggedy ass jeans
4) The Onion
5) Yarmulke

I've also got a list of things I'm looking forward to, other than daily life in general:

1) Tremblant next weekend, plus a little Ottawa action.
2) Montreal for the summer, with the one and only Zim
2.5) Perhaps insert a bout of summer language bursary program here
3) Living in Toronto proper starting September
4) The Netherlands for Christmas 2004
5) Surprise Reading week 2005
6) IDS Coop placement September 2005

That's a long way in the future, but mutha fucka.
Hoof.

The best is that there will be so much unscheduled adventure in between that I don't even know about yet! Perhaps visits to Coburg and Cambridge? Halifax?

I am the luckiest girl in the world. Seriously.

Fantastic Smith

The Marvel of Saturday: I have worked on Saturdays for so long that I am still in awe when I have an entire saturday free. It's the kind of day when you feel like anything is possible, the week's over but the next one is nowhere near starting! It's 1:22 now, and I've written a midterm, worked out, done my laundry, and am ready to enjoy the rest of the day with my fabulous fabulous roommates.

Yes, I did purposely move into a fab fab roomie blog, as it seems to be the theme of the week. But while the others are mourning the end to F6, I say bullshit. We still have to be bridesmaids at each other's weddings! This won't end anytime soon. I heart dancing, cooking and clothing with you girls.

In other news, my fav. ab workout: The Onion (credit to Sean for introducing us).

But, I should go and enjoy the presence of my roomies instead of just writing about them!

A Temporary Pessamist

Here you go Sean.

I am having a bad day. I woke up feeling like I wasn't trying hard enough, getting things done well enough or fast enough, or just plain being good enough. My To Do list has remained the same length for the past week, and I have some dirty dishes in the sink. And worst of all, summer is looming ahead, and I have no idea what it holds for me- I don't even know where I'm going to live! My mum, in her sweet (sometimes difficult) conscientious way sent me a job search website today, which is an excellent start. Tim Hortons is hiring.

After last summer's job drama, I am scared shitless of finding something this summer. I don't have to confidence to go out and do what my friends seem to be doing- camp counsellor (too much responsibility), project coordination at an ngo (too much responsibility). Even the receptionist jobs listed on the HRBC site require "decision making capabilities", a capability I feel I lack.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, all I really want to do is enable someone else's genius. How do I go about doing that?