Wherefore art thou Placement?

I have a bunch of really cool friends. For example, I just got an email from one who just climbed Mt Kilimanjaro, and in the email used this climb to describe his whole experience working in a refugee camp in Tanzania where he's been for the past 9 months. Another is set to leave for Mexico in August to document the Zapatista movement in Chiapas. Actually, I have two friends in Mexico right now: one is volunteering with Doctors without Training, and the other is doing a reciprocal language program where he learns spanish, and teaches english. Speaking of Latin America, one of my closest friends is leaving in September to spend a year volunteering and going to school in Ecuador, and another friend should be arriving back from El Salvador shortly. If you go a little more East, I have two friends in Brighton at the moment, busy discovering themselves. And then there's one who'll spend the rest of her summer treking around Turkey. But even close to home, they're doing interesting things: I have a couple friends from Victoria who will be showing up on my doorstep momentarily to spend a couple of days with me on their trip across Canada. And another who said to Jen last week "this is probably the best summer so far" because it has been filled with trips to big cities, episodes underwater, and as ever, Toronto urban adventure.

So, all this amazingness makes me sit and wonder, what does my next amazing year hold? Why don't I know what I'm doing yet? Is this a bad sign? Even with these questions, I feel confident that within the next three months I will be able to provide a post that paralells these friends of mine in their capacity to adventure. But for now, stop asking me about placement!

granted

My lovely world crashed a little the other day (however it seems to have righted itself now). In the blur of happiness and summer fun, combined with life-sucking jobs, I found myself in a brief crisis of lies, not getting things done, and more responsibility. The main problem in these situations is how hard I am on myself. The feelings of guilt and failure set in. I missed a deadline (I had send my application, but it wasn't up to par) for placement, because I don't have a computer and therefore neglect my inbox. My sublet decided to move out, and so I could perhaps find myself paying two rents in July. Worst of all I ditched Jen for a guy and lied about it (for about 5 minutes before I called her back in tears apologizing!). Today, however, is sunny, and I've got money in my pocket. I like the colour of my hair.

When things start to crumble, though, you realize how much good there is that you take for granted.

Kate