Jentastic

While there are many fabulous people in my life, the one that needs recognition at this time is Jennifer "Fantastic" Fawcette. Oh! I wish that Village Photo hadn't gone all capitalist on our asses, or I would include a photo here. Alas, I will have to try and write a thousand words in place. The theme of the relationship between Jen and I during the second half of this year has been cohabitation. We bonded over music, western heartbreakers, red shoes, too much bloddy enthusiasm, and delight in short haircuts during September, October, November and December, and ultimately decided that we were destined to be roommates. Since then Jen has done all the stressing and effort exertion in order to make a compromise of my dreams and her dreams (which tend to be similar), and now Ella and Marit's dreams as well, a reality. And, mutha fucka, (mootah?)...she did it.

Next year, thanks to my darling darling fabulous fabulous Jennanigans, I will be living in a four bedroom house, next door to the subway station, in a fabulous little community, close enough to both school and downtown, paying only $420 a month. This palace of ours has inside laundry! big rooms! stained glass! hardwood floors! a kitchen big enough for a couch! a porch! a laundry line! My list could go on and on.

And in the face of such a triumph, Jen shows up at my house with a thank you card for me??? Yes, I love you, hon, but really that card should be for you.

So, without further ado, I'd like to say my mega thank you to this wonderful woman that happened into my life, and kicked things up a notch, without causing any unwanted havoc (is it possible to take me by storm without causing a storm?). I LOVE YOU JEN!

(slash, I'll write 307 words about her. Less than a third of a picture, but with Jen, the average person wouldn't be able to handle anymore)

Spare some change for a wicker ottoman from Ikea?

Lama and Taxes

I feel triumphant, grown up and ready for a summer of increased independence. Last night, I did my taxes. I don't know anyone else that did their own taxes, apart from my darling parents, and that makes me delightedly self satisfied. Not that I'm surprised, but I don't have to pay them anything either!!! I think the satisfaction comes from the fact that everyone dreads doing their taxes, spends the day on it, and is toast at the end of it. Helps that I don't have any dependents, a spouse, or benefits. It's just nice to know that I can do it, and that I'll be able to do it myself for the rest of my life now.

I went to see the Dalai Lama the other day, and it was wonderful to see him. It was interesting, not because what he was saying was particularily profound or new, but because it was him that was saying it. In addition, the dynamic of the crowd at the event (in the skydome) was drastically different than the one that was present at the Blue Jays home opener that I went to a couple of weeks ago. Of course, it was an extremely positive speech, and it left me feeling calm, rejuvinated and in a more adequate position to handle life, and development.

It's interesting that calm and rejuvination, and ability to handle life, are quite consistently the things I seek to get out of experiences. Of course there's also adventure, good stories to tell, and happiness.

Right Words at the Right Time

Excitement is building as the final approach to Montreal commences. Who would ever believe that Jess, Brennan and I would live together, half way across the country, in close proximity to our beloved Shona over in Ottawa? MUTHA! And the best is that the whole thing is so freaking practical. I started packing today, and am worried that in the midst of the summer, I'll desperatly want something of mine that is in Scarborough in storage. My parka, for instance, maybe a text book, in case a point needs to be proven, perhaps my bible, or book of inspirational Oscar Wilde quotes.

"Nothing is so dangerous as being too modern. One is apt to grow old fashioned quite suddenly."

I sent a mail today to everyone, letting them know my contact info in Montreal. On purpose I included lots of people that I hadn't talked to in ages, and delightfully, I've got some emails back from people I'd lost touch with. Reconnecting is in the air. When I went away from Victoria, I felt as though I was being so tough, and that I would step out of the plane and leave it behind me. Slightly ridiculous, as there are so many fabulous fabulous people still on the island, that I still love. Thanks all for reminding me, and illustrating the fact that we can still be part of each other's lives, even from a distance (cheese and truth in the same sentence).

famous last words

It is a dark day. Shadows pass through my mind, my heart. Is depression imminent? Politics: Comparative Development and its examination certainly are.

Wk 1 Slide 7

I've had a very varied week, from deep heart to hearts with roommates, to drunken declarations of love to good friends; from blue jays games to res parties; from all night techno nights, to dinner dates; from studying to sex and the city; from crazy days at the deli to dozing in the sun.

International Health Policy tomorrow. What are your biggest health concerns?

Repatriation of Profits

The days are divided between exam study and Sex and the City, season 6. So much love.

My near inability to be home alone (after 8 months of constant human contact) worries me. This weekend will be a test, as I've got the house to myself. Perhaps it's just Scarborough?

Fantasia for Four Hands

A lovely Toronto day. Woke up, brunch at the Red Room (avocado and brie sandwich of course), and then a wander down Spadina and then onto Dundas (going east) as I'd never walked that way before. While chatting to a lovely but absent roommate of mine, I found myself infront of the AGO and on a whim decided to go inside. I'm extra glad I did as it was the last day of a vivid exhibit by Edward Burtynsky that made me smile out loud. I love noticing the themes that run through my life, like Jesus and Development, and this exhibition was no different- it reeked development like a mutha.

It brings to mind my concerns about finding beauty in Poverty, like in Jamaica, and a friend in Victoria's photos of dilapidated dwellings in Laos. Here, though, Ed legitimated beauty in things that are actually destructive. Perhaps it is just a little more difficult to justify see beauty in impoverished people.

I find myself having to convince myself just to breathe in galleries. Stop looking at the people around me, stop hearing what they're saying and just let my eyes glide over the art works, let myself just enjoy it rather than analyzing others analysis of me. Rodney Graham's video installations succeeded in calming me down, I stopped thinking about whether or not I was getting it, and just didn't pay attention to anything. Lovely.

I took the subway home- St. Patrick's station with it's green hue was nearly as soothing as the gallery itself. Looking out the window on the RT was as vibrant as the paintings and photos in the gallery, and I was happy for that outlook.

Now I'll sit down and watch some slightly more mainstream video- My Best Friend's Wedding- and find myself something to eat. It's too bad this blog isn't circular, as that was one of the best things about Graham's work. Perpetuation.

Limbo IV

Why is it that one always tends to look forward at the same time one looks backwards? I am waiting anxiously to get on the greyhound bus destined for Montreal. I look forward to temporarily having a new life- me being the only constant. How many times can I just pick up an leave before it starts negatively affecting me? The only thing that stands in the way of summer is exams. I know that I'm supposed to be at the climax of second year, but it feels as though the climax is passed and I'm in limbo before the ascent of another story. Limbo seems to be a frequent blog theme.

In the sense of looking backward, I've been talking with some people in Victoria who I haven't phoned since getting here. And Montreal seems to be the reuinion of the ages: Kate, Jess and Brennan in one house, Shona in Ottawa, and Ariel somewhere close, but undisclosed. I can't wait to see them all! I've also invited countless other good souls to come and visit, and wouldn't it be wonderful if they did?

It comes down to my inability to sit still, in a micro and a macro sense. Will I ever stop moving?

Scarborough Sea(n)

I went a bit squirly yesterday from reading too much, and feeling trapped in Scarborough, in F6. The world has been so bleek for the past few days, not in relation to me, but in general. I am extremely happy, but worry for the future of humanity. I felt that I needed an adventure to break the negative intertia, but couldn't come up with anything to do besides read Tom Robbins (but I was too squirly from reading already) or watch tv (which makes me more squirly if I'm feeling squirly already). My inability to come up with an appropriate adventure made me feel even more claustrophobic.

In polar opposition, however, today brought the perfect adventure. Sean dropped by, on bike. (***side note: I love things that weren't novel in Victoria, but here are decidedly novel. Bikes for example). I rode once around a campus block, and loved it. We found another bike, and set off with picnic through the valley to the lake. I'd never been before, and I don't quite know why not. Being from Halifax and Victoria, Sean and I did our best to pretend that the lake was an ocean and the breeze was salty. The sea gulls helped the illusion. We picnic'd beside a bronco on the beach and went home via the Quick Stop mart searching for Cyclones.

I don't know what the best part was, being near water, biking, the search for cyclones, simply the idea of adventure, or Sean's company. Perhaps, in true University student post-modernist logic, it was a combination of all five factors. Thanks Sean for encouraging adventure.

La Vie

I've been living real life lately. School often feels like a hiatus. Time has stopped for a moment, and you have to get through this stage before times begins again. Even high school felt more like real life. But, since I've only got one assignment to do before finals, and everyone else is overwhelmed, I am just living. My real life activities include coffee breaks, knitting, dishes, vaccuming, novel reading, painting and corresponding with people left uncorresponded.

Every once in a while I get a whelm (as opposed to an overwhelm) of remembering Victoria. The most common type is thinking about the restaurants and cafes. I miss Eugenes, Pagliacci's, Paradiso, The Wooden Shoe, and Caffe Fantastico- I know I could find similar places here, but I haven't and it's frustrating. Lately, though, I've started missing people. I miss the connections I had with people that I haven't found here. People that I can talk to about anything, and nothing feels conditional. Here, there is a strange dynamic. None of us feel totally comfortable with our situtations, and therefore everything feels a little unstable, including friendships. I think that's why they say that the friends you make at university are the friends that you'll have forever: if you can get through this time of tumult and insecurity together, you can get through anything.

Joie

I am so happy. No reason, just am. Things make me smile and smile and smile. I like ladies that take a long time to count out exact change, I like forcing people to try new things, I like people who write in pedantic prose, and I like feeling that I have free time. I love the city I live in, and I look forward to showing you around it. Yea you.

Something I've been thinking about lately is things I've got in common with people. My friend Jen here in TDot- we're the same person. We're intense, enthusiastic, drama and dance-yo'-pants off. Then there's Mel, my roommate- and we're the same person. We have the same insecurites, the same passion for passion, the same penchant for the attention of the opposite sex...But then when I think about the number of people I see such intense similarietes with I realize how different they all are. Case in point: comparing Mel and Jen. So different.

Love.

Ma Tante

Just back from a fabulous fabulous weekend away. I met Paulette, Philippe and Christian in Ottawa and we went from there to Mt Tremblant in Quebec for a couple of days of skiing. The chalet was full to the brim with fun frenchies, and now I feel like I've got some family out here! The mountain itself was great (very similar to Mt Washington) and the village was chic beyond belief. We went to Le Shack for an apres ski pitcher, but could have painted the town red if we'd wanted to. Spent the second day with Helene and Bill, and ran into some Torontonians as well (my hookup for future ski trips???). Back in Ottawa on Monday, we spent a pleasant day poking around the Byward Market where I visited my favourite hot sauce store and nearly bought a Persian Carpet!!! Now I'm back safe and sound, infront of my computer once again. Many thanks to those who made it possible- I'll see you at the cottage in the summer!

In other news, I went to Italian Night at the Distrikt the other day, to see Mauro Picotto. With Mel as company, we managed to avoid all the Ginos and have a mostly wicked time. Italian flags for souvenirs, and the memory of some really good music.

[Have a feeling I used a few too many cliches in that one.]

A Short List of Favourites

I am going through a phase of overwhelming joy for certain smallish things. My list keeps getting longer, which is fantastic. Three cheers for perpetual adventure.

1) Nothing Compares to You by Sinead O'Conner
2) Yellow Tail Chardonnay
3) Pointy boots with raggedy ass jeans
4) The Onion
5) Yarmulke

I've also got a list of things I'm looking forward to, other than daily life in general:

1) Tremblant next weekend, plus a little Ottawa action.
2) Montreal for the summer, with the one and only Zim
2.5) Perhaps insert a bout of summer language bursary program here
3) Living in Toronto proper starting September
4) The Netherlands for Christmas 2004
5) Surprise Reading week 2005
6) IDS Coop placement September 2005

That's a long way in the future, but mutha fucka.
Hoof.

The best is that there will be so much unscheduled adventure in between that I don't even know about yet! Perhaps visits to Coburg and Cambridge? Halifax?

I am the luckiest girl in the world. Seriously.

Fantastic Smith

The Marvel of Saturday: I have worked on Saturdays for so long that I am still in awe when I have an entire saturday free. It's the kind of day when you feel like anything is possible, the week's over but the next one is nowhere near starting! It's 1:22 now, and I've written a midterm, worked out, done my laundry, and am ready to enjoy the rest of the day with my fabulous fabulous roommates.

Yes, I did purposely move into a fab fab roomie blog, as it seems to be the theme of the week. But while the others are mourning the end to F6, I say bullshit. We still have to be bridesmaids at each other's weddings! This won't end anytime soon. I heart dancing, cooking and clothing with you girls.

In other news, my fav. ab workout: The Onion (credit to Sean for introducing us).

But, I should go and enjoy the presence of my roomies instead of just writing about them!

A Temporary Pessamist

Here you go Sean.

I am having a bad day. I woke up feeling like I wasn't trying hard enough, getting things done well enough or fast enough, or just plain being good enough. My To Do list has remained the same length for the past week, and I have some dirty dishes in the sink. And worst of all, summer is looming ahead, and I have no idea what it holds for me- I don't even know where I'm going to live! My mum, in her sweet (sometimes difficult) conscientious way sent me a job search website today, which is an excellent start. Tim Hortons is hiring.

After last summer's job drama, I am scared shitless of finding something this summer. I don't have to confidence to go out and do what my friends seem to be doing- camp counsellor (too much responsibility), project coordination at an ngo (too much responsibility). Even the receptionist jobs listed on the HRBC site require "decision making capabilities", a capability I feel I lack.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again, all I really want to do is enable someone else's genius. How do I go about doing that?

Waggwhan?

Ah. And so another one of life's weeks has come to an end. I wonder if it is good to have so much adventure crammed into one, rather than have it more evenly dispersed through the other 51 weeks in a year. This was an amazing trip because it was interesting and relaxing at the same time. While it was only a week, I think that it's prepped me for future travels more than Europe has. I think it'll prove especially useful for my IDS placement year because of what it has shown me about how I interact with people from different cultures in their setting, and also about spending time in a developing country in general. I wondered what topics were taboo, and how much people wanted to talk to an outsider, especially one disguised as an American tourist. But, I found that when I was interested, they were happy to tell me their perspective of Jamaica- and in the end I have a variety of different stories. They tell us to be aware of variability within a culture, but it had never really been concrete until this trip. I'm rambling a bit about just a couple of thoughts this trip prompted, and I'm sure more will come as I further disect my fabulous Jamaican holiday. It's not a cohesive Kate-esque blog, with events detailed consecutively, but I suppose the "no problems" attitude has taken me over.

One love.

Notes from a Small Island

Oh! The contradiction of life and unlife that is Jamaica. I've said it before and I'll say it again (with slight variation), that I find it very strange to be in a place where two worlds collide like they do here. We learn about inequality, but in rarely Canada do you see it through such stark contrast. KFC, McDonalds one block, corrugated iron towns the next. It is strange that the best maintained infrastructure here are the advertising billboards. Driving over a potholey road, inundated by donunt and mango sales people at every intersection, you don't expect to look up and see something shiny and toothy.

After learning a bit about Jamaica before I left Toronto, it is interesting to arrive here and talk to the locals about it- what the problems are, where they stem from and what the answer is. The answer to the first two questions is a long enough story, that the third is difficult to get to. All it prompts is further discussion of the first two questions. In addition, the issues brought up in these discussions differ greatly from those in the books and movies I've taken in

The sense of ickyness is almost paralyzing, not that I would be able to do anything anyway in my week here. Will I even have a nice conclusive statement at the end of it? At the same time, I'm more relaxed than I have been since leaving BC, adventure of any kind nearly guarantees it.

Thanks to the Hilton boys (perhaps not as sexy as Paris...) and the rest currently contributing to my positive Pina Colada Karma.

Nearly A Rasta

Oh! The Juxtaposition of life and unlife that is Kingston. I'm sitting here full of all you can eat Lobster from the Kingston Hilton's kitchens (the hook up is fabulous fabulous), and I have a free bed here tonight, with someone to pick up my barely used towels in the morning. All this after spending the day in downtown Kingston, and Trench Town where Bob Marley got his start. Again it brings me to this question, what is more important, achievement of happiness or escape from poverty? And how does Kingston fall into all of this? Tomorrow I am going to see how the rich Jamaicans live, looking down on the rest of Kingston from their million dollar homes.

Thanks to my dad, who always makes me ask questions.

Do not disturb.

Kate In Jamaica

Drinking a bottle of Wata, quenching my thirst the way nature intended. Have just arrived in Kingston, driven past the slums and arrived at the Hilton. Am too ridiculously excited to type.

See you soon, browner and more aware.

OMG Jamaica. It's coming up so fast. Wish me luck.